How to Pray [If You’re Me]

Weigh butter and chocolate on the little kitchen scale gifted two years ago by a friend who understands how your heart-language is pooled in the creases of your hands. Double the amount needed. Pause, and triple it.  Swirl the lumps into liquid over simmering anxiety as your future fades in and out on the fringes of heat waves. Swelter wordlessly. Breathe the fragrance deep.

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Sift in sugar and salt with a shaking hand. Unclench fingers along with illusions of control, and pour in a generous freeflow of vanilla steeped long months in an old medicine bottle, its brown pharmacy glass as familiar to you now as the life you ache not to leave. Stir in flour and watch the textures morph and meld, ever shifting toward goodness.

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Slide triple-heavy pans into the oven to swell and stabilize in the pressing heat as you tackle the grand mess left behind, knowing that every last angle will soon come clean. Wipe away sweat and trickling fear.  Sideswipe batter into your mouth. Remember other kitchens you have created in, other spillovers of grace from your own half-written story, and wash your way down to the marble-smooth surface of trust.

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Wait in the front row as baked chocolate offerings cool on the countertop. Imagine the faces of your intended recipients and exhale gratefulness. Whip together butter and sugar and tingling drops of peppermint into frosty decadence, and spread with a hand that has learned lavishness. Top chocolate with chocolate, and catch molecules of hope on your tongue.

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Dissect your labor of thanks and arrange it bite-size on a recycled platter, a shabby but heartfelt gesture for the men who are giving your husband the financial backing to chase his dreams.  Rest assured that they’ll understand the language of brownies. Tear ripples of aluminum foil and seal a wave of joy in with the gift as you dare to believe that the wide miracle fields stretching ahead are as true as the simple ingredients you hold. Feel, earnestly to the brink of bursting, and for once, find no need for words.

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  1. In NOM we trust? haha!

  2. only you can make me cry using a recipe.

  3. I have a lump in my throat as well. You leap, and then you FLY…. xoxo

    oh, and yum. Prayers going your way.

  4. Um…recipe please! 🙂

  5. Liz – “In NOM we trust?” Hehehehe…

    Rain – My word, dear, you and affirmations. ::Hug::

    Megsie – Thank you, sweet friend!

    Grace – I probably should have included it, huh? The recipe’s from a few sources that I’ve tweaked into this:

    Mint Chocolate [Miracle?] Brownies

    For the brownies:
    ½ C. unsalted butter, cut into pieces
    4 oz. (114 gr.) milk or dark chocolate, coarsely chopped
    1 ¼ C. granulated sugar
    1/3 C. cocoa powder
    1 tsp. vanilla
    2 large eggs
    ½ C. flour
    ¼ tsp. salt

    For the mint frosting:
    2 Tbs. unsalted butter, at room temperature
    1 C. powdered sugar
    2 Tbs. heavy cream
    ½ tsp. peppermint extract, or 1-2 Tbs. crème de menthe
    Green food coloring (optional)

    For the chocolate glaze:
    4 oz. (114 gr.) semisweet chocolate, chopped
    1 Tbs. unsalted butter

    Put rack in middle of oven and preheat to 325°. Line an 8”x8” baking pan with heavy-duty aluminum foil and set aside.

    For the brownies: In a medium-sized stainless steel bowl placed over a saucepan of simmering water, melt the butter and chocolate together. Remove from heat and stir in the sugar, cocoa, and vanilla. Add the eggs one at a time, beating well with a wooden spoon after each addition. Stir in the flour and salt and beat with a wooden spoon until the batter is smooth and glossy. Pour the batter into the prepared pan.

    Bake for 25 min. or until the brownies start to pull away from the sides of the pan and the edges are just beginning to brown. Cool to room temperature.

    For the mint frosting: With a mixer, beat all the ingredients until smooth. Add a few drops of green food coloring if desired. If the frosting is too thick, add a little cream to make it spreadable. Spread the frosting evenly over the cooled brownies and place in the refrigerator for 15 min. or until firm.

    For the chocolate glaze: In a double-boiler or the microwave, melt the chocolate and butter. Spread immediately over the mint filling and refrigerate until ready to serve. Serve in small pieces and notice how rich you suddenly feel!

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