5Aug

Indecision LIVE!

And now, for your intellectual betterment, a peek into my complex and highly rational decision-making process:

3:44p – As I put the girls down for their nap, my thoughts skip ahead to this evening when I’m scheduled to teach a one-on-one English course. My thoughts abruptly stop skipping and slump to the ground in passive aggressive gloom. For one thing, my special vacation-edition sinus infection rose from the grave only hours ago, scaring all forms of energy and intelligence into hiding. For another thing, I’ve worked every single evening this week and am progressing from the Denial stage of mother-guilt to the Weepy. Plus, my intuition is gently insistent about me needing a break.

3:45p – On the other hand, my brain chides, my paycheck this month could use a little fattening. It hardly makes sense to pinch pennies at the grocery store if I’m going to go around canceling work hours, and what if my student is really counting on this lesson? I can’t just avoid my job on a whim; freelancing doesn’t work if you’re not responsible enough to actually, you know, work.

3:46p – I fall back on the old standby:

Pros and Cons

3:49p – Things get a little heated:

Pros and Cons fighting

3:52p – I fall on the other old standby: rocking in a corner with my thumb in my mouth until the need for responsible decision-making magically disappears.

3:53p – It doesn’t.

3:54p – I contemplate checking myself in to a mental institution to get help for my blossoming schizophrenia… but mostly to avoid deciding anything about this evening.

3:55p – Crickets chirp unhelpfully.

3:56p – My student calls and cancels our lesson.

3:57p – I dust off my hands with the satisfaction of a competent, professional adult and the reward of yet another decision well made.

 

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7 comments

  1. Laughing out loud right now. It ALMOST ALWAYS pays to procrastinate, doesn’t it? Yeah. Talk to me when I actually sit down to START planning out my semester. Hmmm. Three Months? Where did you go???????

    Glad you got your wish though! And you are very professional about it. I hope you told your student how sorry you were to miss class….

  2. Hahaaa! You are too funny! This reminds me SO much of some of the notes my best friend Becky & I used to pass back and forth to each other in 8th grade. Good times! 😀

  3. omg….laughing so hard i’m about to snort guacamole.

  4. this was SO amusing.
    there may or may not be a job in my near future; i’m $10 away from broke, so i’d go for nearly anything that doesn’t involve fast food.
    anyhow, there shall be pros and cons to anything but my fantastical top-of-the-list dream job, at a lovely coffee shop.
    sigh.
    someday.
    SOMEDAY.

    i totally love this post.
    and your penmanship? noice!!

  5. Megsie – Oh yes, clearly VERY professional. And I totally second your thoughts on procrastination. 🙂

    Liz – Complete with insults and fighting scribbles? Hehe…

    Rain – I am thinking of so many potential uses for “snorting guacamole” right now. A band name? A new brand of cocaine? A dance move? Possibilities!!!

    Beka – How could you not work in a lovely coffee shop? It sounds so very YOU. (And that penmanship is the result of journaling by hand every day for, oh, a decade? until I clued in that typing was easier. 🙂 )

  6. love that student canceled; ominous to to read/hear someone else who self-dialouges; and while my thoughts can be quite detailed, your ability to get it in writing is so foreign to me I doubt some whether we really are the same species. amazing! I would LOVE to get the thoughts in my head down on paper with such clarity. no wonder you love to write.

  7. CJ – I don’t know that I would call it self-dialogue so much as self-doubt-in-multiple-colors, but yes, it is ominous. 🙂 And thanks for the kind words!

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