Pre-Race Anxitement

The marathon is four days away, and my bones are full of caffeinated ants. I can’t stop moving. Even when I try to sit straight in my chair and take deep breaths and remind myself that everything is well and truly okay, I flick on and off like a bare light bulb in some dank blood-spattered basement.

I’ve never been particularly good at dealing with anxiety, and what’s more, I’ve never been particularly good at distinguishing between anxiety and its friendlier associate, excitement. I guess you could say I am anxcited about the marathon. Excious, even. What I am not is calm, composed, or the kind of cool-flippant hybrid you’re supposed to embody when pretending you’re a competent athlete.

Study questions:

  1. What was I thinking in signing myself up for this?
  2. No, really?
  3. How do you deal with bouts of anxcitement or exciety other than strapping yourself into a straightjacket? Twitchy minds want to know.
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  1. Ha! Well, you could always go running…. See? I amuse my own self sometimes! I will be thinking about you for the next FIVE days. I can’t wait to hear how it goes…. I know you will do GREAT!

  2. I am RIGHT there with you, feeling THOSE feelings. My stomach is boiling all the time. My mind won’t slow down. I can’t sleep….

    The only consolation is this: I feel ALIVE. Wonderfully, poignantly, painfully….ALIVE.

    Let’s do our things TOGETHER. I’ve got your back from over here. I’ll be with you in spirit the whole time….and I love you MUCH.

  3. Hah, well – poorly, if we’re meant to be honest. I usually stay up way too late the night before the event, sleep poorly, and feel vaguely nauseous right up through the end of it. I think there’s something to be said, though, that I manage to get through despite (or in spite of) those feelings – sometimes there’s nothing to be done but to get through it, you know?

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