Mario: “It’s-a party time!”
Luigi: “Awesome. Hey look, Goombas!”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “Uh… Luigi? You know Goombas are one of the unfriendlier species, right? I mean, you can keep trying to shake their hands if you want, but they will continue beating you to death.”
Luigi: “Yeah, yeah. It’s just—”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “Try jumping on their heads, like so.”
Luigi: “Okee-dokee.”
Mario: “Seriously, Luigi? This is my head. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Please get off now.”
Luigi: “Sorry, bro.”
Mario: “Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow.”
Luigi: “As long as I’m up here, feel free to direct all blame toward the woman holding the Wii remote.”
Mario: “Ah. There did seem to be higher-than-average levels of ineptitude, even for you.”
Luigi: “Thanks. Oh, see? You can have your precious head back while I go retrieve the coin in between those Piranha Plants up there.”
Mario: “Are you sure? Isn’t that a little risk—”
::Luigi dies::
Luigi: “Man, those head-devouring flowers pack a sting! Take two.”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “Not to sound like a broken record or anything, but are you sure a single coin is worth risking your life over? I mean, one coin gets us, like, half a lick of a mushroom… if the Toad in charge is not PMS-ing for once.”
Luigi: “Take three, wheee!”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “You might want to try jumping over the plant next time.”
Luigi: “Right on. Take four!”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “Arrrggghh.”
Luigi: “I’m sensing some repressed rage over there. Wanna take it out on that angel over there?”
Mario: “You mean the flying turtle? Sometimes I’m pretty confident Mom dropped you on your head a time or two.”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “Or two thousand.”
Luigi: “Hey angel! Yeah, you, punk! You wanna piece of me? Well check out this move—”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “Have you considered not-dying as a viable option for this game? You seem to be having fun and all, but Bowser’s up ahead waiting to cream us and I could use some help.”
Luigi: “Oh yeah, of course. Hey look, a shortcut!”
Mario: “Wait! That’s quicksan—”
::Luigi dies::
Mario: “On second thought, maybe I don’t need the help.”
…
Mario: “Luigi?”
…
Mario: “Luigi?”
…
Bethany: “Hey, where did Luigi go?”
Dan: “You ran him into the quicksand with only one life left.”
Bethany: “And…?”
Dan: “He died.”
Bethany: “So…?”
Mario: “I’m screwed.”
Dan: “Yeah, pretty much.”
Bethany: “Who wants to play again?”
This made me laugh out loud….I suck at Mario, and I always have. We haven’t gone shopping for more games for the new Christmas Wii, which game do you have?
Yeah…uh dear…I’m sorry your repressed childhood did not include Super Mario Bros., but seriously, could you please just try to survive to the end of the level every now and then? =D
Have no idea what you are talking about, since I’ve never played, but oh man, you crack me up regardless. 😀
Megsie – The one featured in today’s embarrassing expose’ is Super Mario Bros. We love it for its old-school Nintendo vibes and the setup that lets all four of us play together (though I think sometimes the other family members wish I wouldn’t play!). Our other favorite family Wii games are Wii Sports Resort, Mario and Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games, and Lego Star Wars.
Husband (commenting as me) – It’s bound to happen eventually!
Liz – Thanks! 🙂 Are you all a non-video-gaming family?