The Bramble Squad

Joining Seth and Amber again for Marriage Letters: I Knew You Loved Me When. It’s a tender topic for me this week, so please read gently.


Dear husband,

You’re probably not expecting another marriage post this week given our stalemate conversations over the past few days, and honestly, I wasn’t planning to write this either. Our decade together has been one long series of transitions, yes, but this, learning how to share an office as two dream-chasing freelancers, is a big one. It remaps our individual orbits, and the gravity of being so near each other so much of the time pulls issues out from under the tide-pools. We knew it would be like this, but we’re still taken by surprise when conversations take a nosedive into territory neither of us particularly wants to visit. When we’re down there, neck-deep in brambles, it’s hard to see what we’re doing as progress.

But do you remember all those hours we used to talk perched on the dryers at our university laundromat, and how one evening, you looked at me across the low rumble and I knew? You caught it in my eyes too, weeks later across a tiny restaurant booth, and I didn’t need to say anything. We loved each other, and we knew it.

Yesterday, when you walked in with bits of sky still reflected in your eyes, and I was head to toe in flour rolling gnocchi as a peace offering, we knew it again. Everything shifts when love is the perspective, doesn’t it? With one look, we remember that we’re teammates on the bramble-clearing squad and that this hard work is all part of landscaping our future. We love each other still, and knowing it helps us sweep the stalemate off the board and plop down on it to continue our conversation.

The dryers might have been comfier, but I’d rather be here, now.



Previous letters here and here.

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  1. oh, the importance of keeping that perspective! what a beautiful write. and i love the mental picture of clearing the brambles. as a team.
    hope you have a great day!

  2. Those brambles hurt, and this post is beautiful. I love reading about your love story. It seems so pure and lovely and passionate. Kind of like a real live fairy tale. Have I told you how much I love that you are posting so often? Man, I have missed you!

  3. You are ON FIRE these days! I am loving it! 🙂

  4. Gnocchi! I love gnocchi and can’t believe someone else makes it by hand too!

    I loved your letter, beautifully written, and I love that you wrote even when you didn’t exactly feel lovey dovey….press on sister.

  5. Loved this. Sometime it is in the simplest moments that clarity shines through.

  6. “Everything shifts when love is the perspective, doesn’t it?” frigging brilliant statement. and so happy that you two have such a great love to work with. rich.

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