I have mixed feelings about parenting magazines. On one hand, they can be very informative (How to potty train!), but on the other hand, most of the information is hardly revolutionary (1. Put child on potty, 2. Give sticker as reward, 3. Pat yourself on the back for a job well done). They can provide a sense of community, but on the other hand, glossy photographs do not count as friends. I suppose for me, it all comes down to how the magazine makes me feel about parenting. Wondertime, for instance, makes me want to go nibble on my girls’ earlobes and noses and perfect little elbows just because I’m so delighted to know them.
I wandered onto a popular magazine’s website the other day, though, that made me feel as if I’d walked straight into a spider web. Days later, I still can’t brush off the articles: Why I wish I’d had a girl instead of a boy. How my husband should know better than to expect sex as long as we have kids at home. How I ruined my daughter’s life: A memoir. I couldn’t put my finger on the exact problem until I read their mission statement, which was (and I paraphrase): “Too many magazines imply that parents should like their kids, when the truth is, WE DON’T! So let’s get together and bitch about it.”
I sort of understand. Parenting is a tough job; the workday is 24 hours long, and a lot of poop is involved. It requires enormous sacrifice, patience, wisdom, and creativity. And karaoke skills. And strong stomachs. I find it incredibly dishonest when people claim that parenting is easy. It’s so, so not.
But it’s good. Swinging-at-the-park good. Spontaneously-giggling good. Dr.-Seuss good. Earth-shattering-love good. No words could fully depict the goodness of children: life’s gift to adults who might otherwise grow old and crusty. The magazine’s opinion—that parenting is awful, end of story—is poison. Because the fact is, all the sleepless nights and temper tantrums and sticky floors and rearranged sex lives pale in comparison to the joy of hugging your children each morning, showing them the world, and discovering that those tiny people love you every bit as much as you love them.
Well said! We know it is not easy, but who said anything this good would be easy? Parenting is growing up, and becoming a child all in one.
Of course we don’t always LIKE parenting, and much of it is awful and hard and bogglingly wearisome, but to imply, like that magazine seems to be doing, that there is no love for our children there at all and that the best we can do is join hands and commiserate together seems to me both cowardly and despicable.
Amen!
Beatriz – I like how you put that… “growing up and becoming a child all in one.” That’s certainly an accurate description!
Liz – I’m so glad you agree, as I’m sure your children do too!
Nino – 🙂