3Jan

Tums for the Soul

Since blogging last, I have:
Baked cookies for everyone we know, and them some.
Taken girls to the doctor for seasonal maladies, discovered the doctor was not in, and tried again the next day. And again the next day. And again…
Finally Skyped a doctor friend in the States at 1 a.m. to find out if we should be panicking over Natalie’s fever or not (Answer: not).
Finished Christmas shopping.
Loaded up on groceries.
Cracked the code of crunchifragilistic caramel corn.
Used up the last of our wrapping paper.
Painted.
Made a mental list of the dumbest holiday song lyrics ever (Winner = Emery’s “God, please make a way for Santa’s sleigh”).
Put Sophie back to bed 4,687,721,003 times.
Concocted a white-chocolate-blood-orange cheesecake that will be the death of all other cheesecakes henceforth, amen.
Hosted Christmas Eve Brunch, complete with Christmas Casserole, games, and intense theological discussions.
Watched our girls open their gifts and hit the ceiling with explosions of sheer joy (a tent! a dollhouse! finger puppets! story books! Legos x 10480!).
Hosted Christmas Dinner, complete with chili, cornbread, and assorted fight-and-make-ups.
Guzzled Delicately sipped three gallons a bit of eggnog.
Read an entire book cover to cover (over the course of three days… but it totally counts).
Edited and uploaded reams of photographs.
Conquered the slopes with my new snowboard.
Worn the same sweater three days in a row.
Rolled sushi with the hubby (a fork may have been necessary at one point… shhh).
Gone on a hot date.
Wound up lost on spaghetti-sized mountain roads in the dark.
Attended two parties.
Swept under the shoe pile (lordy).
Been asked by a new acquaintance if I’m expecting a boy or a girl.
(Note: I am not with child. Not even remotely.)
Eloquently told the new acquaintance, huh?, at which point he dashed away.
Laughed.
Cried.
Laughed.
Cried.
Cried.
Cried.
Cried.
Laughed.
Been kissed by hordes of Europeans in celebration of the New Year.
But not gotten any spumante.
Twisted and shouted.
Participated in Italian group karaoke.
Finally finished a giant puzzle that Dan and I gave up on several years ago.
Climbed Mount Laundry and lived to tell about it.

The one thing I haven’t done is sat down to write, which had a lot to do with the flurry of guests and baked goods and teething Sophies. It also had to do with the stampede toward 2009… life getting off the couch to boogie, and my perspective getting trampled into the chocolate-stained rug. Symptoms of my new year include sweating palms, hair loss, and repeated trips to the chocolate bowl.

I’ve had over a year now to get used to life with two little ones, but I honestly feel more overworked than experienced these days. Soul-searching is limited to five minute bursts between dirty diapers and boiling pasta until my mind is impossibly fragmented and just. wants. sleep. You know that feeling, yes? Last New Year’s Eve, I had inklings of a lush, creative beautyscape ahead, but this year, I’m swerving along a tightrope with a chasm of housewifery below and aspirations obscured by neon signs flashing “Selfish! Selfish!” and “Untalented: YOU!” Miles away from champagne and fireworks, I know.

My belly has been an awful character lately (aside from making people think I’m pregnant, though that is certifiably awful): gnawing at me from the inside-out, tying itself into knots, whispering with clenched teeth that 2009 will be a wasteland. It won’t. I have to believe it won’t, but damned if it doesn’t look just like dirty bathrooms and tumbleweeds from here. Anyone have a burst of inspiration to share? An extra sprinkle of optimism? Some champagne-and-fireworks wishes that I can pop like Tums and transform my stomach from a gremlin to an upstanding citizen again? Because I’m not so good with tightropes, and Mount Laundry’s no longer waiting to break my fall.

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8 comments

  1. My attempt at an extra sprinkle of optimism is coming in the mail. Better late than never! Sorry it took me so long to write back!!

  2. You are such a joy to read! I often find myself laughing along with so many descriptions that I identify with. Mount Laundry for one, I am climbing at this time. So if that is any help on the optimism front, you are not alone on that part of the mountain. I hear the view is incredible at the top, or bottom–whichever works!

  3. You are too funny! For a second there I thought you were talking about me. 🙂 However the one thing I have under control is the laundry and I guess I’ll be thanking God for that. I do have a bit of optimism for you! This is going to be a long post so hold tight.

    As often as I can I take a walk in the morning with my dog and have a talk with God. It’s my time of clarity. The prayer that has been on my heart for months now is that God would bless me with joy and laughter. My spirit is used to that and this year I have had very little of it. It’s enough to make one weary. One of the things that came to me as I was praying and reading scripture is that JOY IS to be found. It can be found in almost anything if we are looking. Here are some scripture verses that cleared my head this morning and I pray that as you read them joy would abound in your heart and laughter on your lips. Nehemiah 8:1-18; as we study God’s word and honor God with our lives, we experience his joy. 1 Peter 1:8; God is just cool like that. Psalm 126:5-6 – this is my favorite and made me cry this morning. I’m going to write it all out. Those who plant in tears will harvest with shouts of joy. They weep as they go to plant their seed, but they sing as they return with the harvest. Isn’t that beautiful! May God turn your tears into utter joy! 1 Corn 1:10-17; don’t get bogged down by petty issues whether they come from you or others. Romans 15:13 – May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Be blessed my dear because you have a great and wonderful God who treasures you and many friends too!

  4. Ah! Life-Looms-Long-itis I know the syndrome well. I promise, PROMISE (yes, it needs to be cyber-yelled) that it will get better. If we’re anything alike and I think we are frighteningly so (in a good way), I bet you’ll be singing a different tune at this time next year. Can’t wait for the fog to lift for you. It’s subtle but you’ll know when it happens.

  5. Seems to me your inspiration is a snake that could bite you. 🙂 Slithered and wrapped around your shoulders, teeth tangled in your hair, peering lovingly from behind a shoulderblade. Lovely stuff.

  6. Kelly – Hooray! I’ll be checking my mailbox every day.

    Immersion – I prefer the view from the bottom, personally. 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!

    Stephanie – I’ll be looking those up. Thank you. And here’s to a 2009 full of laughter for both of us!

    Nino – I think you’re right. One of the many reasons I love blogging is because it makes it so easy to look back and see how much changes in a year. Thankfully, life-looms-long-itis (hehe!) is neither fatal nor incurable!

    Liz – If I could choose, inspiration would be a glittery little flip-book sitting on my desk… but in lieu of a life without inspiration, I’ll take the snake.

  7. Here’s an inspiring thought…2009 could very well hold your last dirty diaper!

  8. Tom – I’m certainly inspired now. What a thought!

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