Pile-Up

I feel the words piling up throughout the day, then the week, like speeding cars in the fog. But these moments are not mine, even when I’m too dazed to properly distribute them among family and housework and other assorted obligations. Tomorrow, a babysitter is coming over to give me an entire morning alone with my laptop. I’m looking forward to it, but also mildly terrified that I will glance into my brain only to find that it doesn’t work anymore. Or that I won’t accomplish enough to justify the expense. Or that four hours a week won’t be enough to maintain sanity for this mama (though oh, it will help). It will be like re-assimilation, an experiment in boosting my odds. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll find some salvageable scraps among the pile-up in my head.