It’s snowing in Venice today. We’re tucked up on the mainland without either the outerwear or the gumption to attempt sightseeing, so I content myself with peeking out of our friends’ window at the park, its lake half-frozen and dotted with disinterested seagulls. As always when snow falls, the world is silent.
The quiet seeps over me in little waves, both relaxing and unsettling. I realize what I do every January—that the holidays have directed my time with such a sense of obligation that I’ve lost grasp of myself. Again. Every day of the past few weeks, my need for stretches of personal peace has been reasoned away with “We only get to see them once a year” and “The sale only lasts today” and “He’s taking vacation time for this.” I am incredibly grateful we were able to spend our holidays with family and friends, but I did an abysmal job of recharging… and I’m not sure how much anyone enjoyed my tightly-wound, guilt-enforced presence.
This afternoon, with the house to myself and a few quiet hours stretching ahead, I feel unsteady. Duties swoop and dive like hungry gulls—clean the bathroom, write an e-mail, catch up on blogs, make a phone call, work on the budget, edit photos. But I want my sea legs back, my calm center, my sense of belonging in this deep peace, and that means following one particular obligation to myself.
Hint #1: It starts with “n” and ends with “aptime.”
Hint #2: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….
Oh, Bethany~ Sleep tight! I do look forward to your words 🙂 Once you are rested. Of course. Very, very rested. Hmmm….my kids just left for school. I may join you…you don’t mind do you?
Nap as much as you can!! I feel the same way today: very discombobulated.
I really enjoyed this, your writing is so good! A nap is something I’ve almost forgotten how to do, it’s medicine for the soul that we all need. I took the first one in years today, just a couple of hours in the late afternoon, and even though it was because I wasn’t feeling well, those old feelings of ‘I should be hoovering…’ kept creeping in. After reading your post, I’ve promised myself I’m going to work on giving myself a little more of what I deserve.
I Bella Mocha but back after a break with a new home and new name..’What I Know Now’. I’m glad to be back here again.
Bella
Meg – I am finally more rested, thanks! Though it would be unwise to ask me about it first thing in the morning before caffeine or logic set in. 🙂
Liz – Discombobulated in exactly the right word for it. Hopefully naptime can fix that sort of ailment!
Bella – Glad to have you back!