I’m often convinced that I am simply a giant tangle of neuroses that occasionally manages to make sense in a confusing, modern-art way. I mean, some days my mismatched tendencies work together to create a good conversation or a delicious meal or a general sense of well-being or maybe a really ingenious new expletive. Some days, I start to think I might be cut out for life as a human after all. Some days, yellow and purple really do go together. Alas, today was not one of those days.
My brain woke up especially snarled, and despite magical music* and the sexy gleam of my new computer**, I couldn’t seem to fashion the day into anything but a mess. It probably (definitely) didn’t help that a slightly feverish 2-year-old clung to me for several hours sobbing “I SAD!” But still, there was naptime — the catnip of harried mothers — and rather than roll around in my freedom outputting creativity and/or snuffling deliriously, I… uh, sat. I poked a little bit at the snarl in my head which only made it worse. I thought all sorts of greenish-gray thoughts about the nature of my brain, its unwillingness to cooperate, and the black hole of nothingness which was to be my future. I had caffeine. It didn’t help.
I’m gathering that there’s nothing to be done with a clashing muddle of neuroses other than to stop looking at it,**** so I’m hereby turning my attention to lovelier things.
Like magical music and sexy new computers,
and a barrage of snotty, slightly-feverish kisses at bedtime,
and colorwonderful paintings ready to be hung,
and glitter-plum nail polish,
and Pocket Coffee,
and the promise of naptime again tomorrow,
and a hopeful future despite the frequent mess of me.*****
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* $5 Mp3 album sale at Amazon this week, if anyone’s interested!
** Which was proudly paid for with my ESL earnings!***
*** Okay, so my earnings only covered half of it, but I desperately needed a new computer, the store was having a fantastic sale, and I’m sure my husband will give me a good interest rate, right? Oh, it thrills my soul to have a working laptop again, and the 8+ hour battery charge turns my heart into fluttery Jell-O.
**** Of course I couldn’t figure this out until a quarter ’til 11 at night.
***** And footnotes, which are just plain fun.
Hey! I “sit” too! I am sorry to hear that you have a sickie at your house and that “she sad!” and all. We just got home from school and it is 8:35 pm. We went from school, to swimming, to my sister’s to pick up a lamp, to McDonald’s….ate in the car, to the PTSA meeting at school and (finally!) home again. I TIRED. I loved your post, it made me laugh out loud :)**
**and congratulations (!!!!) on your new sexy computer. How FUN!
Just the thought of the “I SAD” made me smile with empathy and want to swoop over and give you such a hug. Poor little sick kid!
Honestly, the stuff you manage to come up with when you say you’re a tangled snarl of “I got nothing” is nothing short of amazing. Shoot some of that my way, chickie! LOVE!
Love the footnotes! Love the idea of having a sexy new computer. Love the way you describe your brain and the thoughts that come from it. I have those days too, only not with a “I SAD” two year old clinging, but rather with a fuzzy kitty who won’t let me out of his sight and gives me a “why are you moving” look whenever I get off the couch.
Thanks for the laughter!!
Here it is, days later, and so I know you’re over your mully grubs, but I am just too excited over your new, well earned computer! Cooperative technology just makes life a little easier.
And for many, many thousands of fans, purple and yellow go together quite well (LSU). I am non sporty, I can’t believe I thought of that, but take it as an assurance that your brain isn’t too wonky after all. 🙂
I have so been there. YERPLE. The perfect description.