Tag: Family

2Mar

Fortune

We’ve reached the best moment–the drowsy hum just after a huge Italian lunch but before espressos. The scent of coffee is already twisting through the air in those soft, bohemian swirls artists love to paint, and sunlight settles warm and heavy on our eyelids. Now, a deep breath, a half-hearted effort to stay awake… One more nibble of dark chocolate…

It’s a time machine, this moment, like a Dear Diary peek into the future. It’s a snippet of home video, showing our girls grown up into their own beauty and our little family traditions as familiar as furry slippers. It’s a glimpse into the connectedness we share, hot coffee together after lunch in twenty, thirty, forty years.

Maybe it’s just a drowsy mid-afternoon daydream… but I’ll take it as my fortune. Any day.

31Jan

Voodoo vs. Violence

This has been a weird week. I’ve woken up most mornings feeling like someone mixed together liver and onions in my soul and not even the largest tub of orange sherbet could alleviate the horror. (Not like we can actually get orange sherbet here… Excuse me while I weep.) I’ve tried blogging, but the High Voodoo Witchpriest of Blogger keeps sticking pins into a little model of my brain, particularly the part that controls EVERYTHING. Last night, some monkeys infected with rage escaped their lab and zombified everyone in England. Then this morning over breakfast, Natalie calmly said, “Mom, I don’t appreciate your singing.” (Weird, I know. I’m a wonderful singer! Which is why I don’t even sing in front of The Hubby, for fear of overwhelming him with my wonderfulness. Ahem.)

Sticker-nose 1

However, no matter how liverandoniony the last several days have been, they have been periodically jolted with a kind of happiness that voodoo can’t touch: Sophie grinning and kicking and exploding into little pieces of glittery happiness while she tells me all about her day (met a new boyfriend, learned the Riverdance, ate milk). Natalie spinning in clumsy, delighted circles, singing at the tip-top of her lungs about robots and slimy snails and how the writer’s strike should be over already and how she loves us. Dan walking in the door from work, smelling scrumptiously like his red leather coat, rain, and aftershave, his arms instantly open to wrap me up. That moment just before I crawl into bed when I peek into the girls’ room and hear them breathing in harmony, their precious little faces serene and dream-dappled. That moment just after I crawl into bed when I finally relax from the day, melting into my husband and knowing we’ll be tangled together in the quiet until tomorrow.

Sophie adoring her dad

So. Glasses are up there in our leprous credenza. Champagne is in the fridge. We’ll give away the furniture so that more than 2.5 of you can fit in our kitchen and invite someone who knows how to make a touching speech, and we’ll all share a toast to happiness. Then we’ll infect ourselves with rage and take it out on the world’s liver and onions, because everyone knows gratuitous violence is the secret to happiness. Who’s with me?

7Nov

One Week Later

One week later, I’m feeling closer to myself than I have… well, all year. Longer, actually. The last many, many months have dragged me across uncharted and incredibly rocky terrain, shredding my stability and grinding gravel into my view of the world. You know. Sort of.

But this morning? Not a single looming uncertainty on the horizon. Energy. Patience. An unexpectedly friendly number on the scale. Golden sunlight through golden leaves. Half-giggled conversations with Natalie. Sweet-smelling baby snuggles. Recovery.

Our sweet Sophie Ruth was born last Wednesday, already months old in size and awareness of the world. One week later, her peaceful little presence is filling in the blanks of our family, her spontaneous smiles and squeaks eclipsing even the stress of a dirty kitchen (::shock::). One week later, the four of us find ourselves meshing together, layers beneath our skin. One week later, life is full of the kind of mushy metaphors that will only sound butchered and Hallmark-y when typed out loud. But trust me, they’re true.

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